Naomi's New Way Of Life

This is my story:
Growing up I felt a shame and rudeness from others because I was overweight. I was always the chubby one in the group. Trying to fit in I would joke and play around. When people would make fun of others I would join in because the focus was off of me. However, knowing the pain the person must have been feeling. Such loneliness and sadness that I also felt. Being teased and humiliated in grade school was just the beginning. Thinking, how can these kids be so mean to me. I remember one day in 5^th grade a 6^th grader was being really nasty to me; she even pushed me down while everyone laughed. I know I wasn't the heaviest kid in school, I guess I was an easy target? The greatest revenge was a teacher saw her do it and she had to sit by me at lunch time for a week. I know she hated it, but I hope she learned a lesson from that. I remember that girls name still to this day.
Jr. High had gotten even more difficult as the girls were developing and boys were noticing them; however, they weren't interested in me. That pushed me toward the only comfort that I knew; food. Trying out for drill team and being told that I was too heavy for the team really hit hard in my Jr high school year. The feeling of rejection and humiliation at a young age is extremely grueling.
Getting ready to go into my High School year I knew that thing would be even tougher. I had been on many diets through out my life time (and I was still just a teenager). Wondering to myself what is wrong with me, why am I so (fat) overweight? Why can't I lose the weight? My parents would try to help (with bribery), $1 for 100 sit ups. Heck it worked for a little while, but I just didn't like to exercise. My mom taking me to every diet doctor in town, still nothing worked. Going through the freshman, sophomore and junior years were a little tough. I think the toughest thing is not one boy noticed me. Every where you looked, your friends were with someone and I always felt like the 3^rd wheel. My Senior year is the year that I found drugs and I had lost some of my weight. I knew that the drugs were not the answer, but they helped with my appetite and they were helping keep my weight off. However, I don't condone drugs! I finally had a boyfriend, but looking back I’m sure it wasn’t because of me being thinner but of my personality, but as a teenager (and society) looks mean everything. Our society has put the focus on looks (thin is in), you see it everywhere; on TV (commericals, shows, movies), billboards and magazines (sex sells). Who is to say large women/men don't sell products? Society!!
After 2 years I finally woke up and got off the drugs (I thank God!), but only to gain my weight and much more back. Nothing seemed to work, all of those quick fix TV ads; pills, drinks, tapes, etc. After years in an abusive relationship and a bad marriage which ended in divorce. I figured I would go after a long life dream of becoming a firefighter. I joined a gym and started to watch what I ate and I started loosing the weight. While in the academy I was diagnosed with MS, on my 30^th birthday I felt as though my life was crumbling all around me and I was having a mid life crisis.
A few months went by and I started to gain my weight back due to the whole depression I was in. Where I worked there were a couple of ladies on Weight Watchers and one was a leader. They introduced me into it and I joined, loosing 60 lbs. I had also met a man in November of 2000; he was/is my night in shinning armor. The weight never bothered him, even when I hit my all time high of 303 lbs. My life had finally fell into place the way I always dreamed, until the day that has changed my life forever: October, 2005, while sitting at work a strange feeling came over me and my chest started pounding, I was hot and my arm felt numb. I phoned my doctor and gave her my symptoms over the phone; she said that she didn't think I was having a heart attack; maybe I was having an anxiety attack. I went into her office just for my peace of mind. She informed me that I wasn’t having a heart attack, however, she said; tipping the scale at 303 lbs it would be in my future if I didn’t get my weight under control. That very vivid moment I began my weight "rid" journey. I remember thinking; I have waited for this man all my life I wasn’t going to let it go so easy. I researched weight loss surgery but I wanted to see if I could do it on my own (I have family/friends that have had surgery only to gain the weight back). One morning watching TV an infomercial about the (Michael Thurman Program ) came on. I ordered the program right then and got rid of 30 lbs in the 6 weeks as they advertised. I had come to understand my body for the first time with their program, what I should be eating and how often. It was a little tough sticking with the program; I felt I needed some additional accountability. My Husband has been and is my biggest support (my rock); I felt I needed a group that knew exactly what "I" was going through. It was then that I decided to sign up with Weight Watchers (again); on December 27, 2005. I had been on the Flex Plan before and like many stopped going to meetings, but I knew that this time was different; especially now since my boyfriend had just asked me to marry him and I didn’t want to walk down that isle fat, (I don’t think any girl does). That gave me that extra push I needed. There were/are many struggles and stresses, getting married and planning the "perfect" wedding. We had to postpone the wedding from April 1st to July 22nd due to snow (yes snow in California), we were getting married at our cabin in Running Springs, which 2 weeks before the wedding date we had 6 feet of snow. From Oct. 2005 to July 22, 06 I had gotten rid of a total 84.4 lbs. I knew I still had a ways to go but with my new philosophy; "One Day And One Pound At A Time" ODAOPAAT®. I would make it to my personal goal! I knew that it had taken me years to put on all this weight and it would definitely take some time to get it all off. I wanted to make this a life style change and stop the yo-yo dieting that I had always done.
Now with all that said, I know that God has been there to help me every day. God has made us all different for a reason; there are times I wish I knew why when I was younger. But, I know now I was overweight until “I” was ready to make that commitment to myself. I became healthy for myself, my husband and family and no one else. I plan to be around for a long time to spend with my husband. I would love to see this country get a handle on the obesity epidemic this is why I have poured my heart and soul out to you all. I know I am not the only person with these feelings, and I want you to know it is alright to express yourself. And Always Be True To Yourself!!!!
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MY STATS
My BMI started at 53.7, today my BMI is 27.6. Starting weight of 303.4 my current weight is 152.8 lbs (as of June 26, 07 I am no longer Obese, I'm considered just Overweight). My Body Fat % was 79.3%, today my Body Fat % is 20.2%. Beginning clothing size 28+, current clothing size 6. Starting total overall body inches 400, current total overall body inches 262.5.Total weight "Rid Of" (it's not lost I don't want it back!) is 150.6 lbs. I have 6 more pounds to get rid of, I will get there "ONE DAY AND ONE POUND AT A TIME" ®
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I’m hoping that my story helps at least one person! I know we all need inspiration and I have that in my WW Class. I have been over weight much of my younger and adult life. I have been every diet out there, shots, pills, tapes, you name it. My mom had tried everything for me as well when I was a younger, and I have tried everything on my own. I know people that have gone to the extreme and had bypass surgery (trust me I thought about it and researched it) but they had gained their weight back. I think the reason is they haven't changed their eating habits. That's why I say none of it works!! What does work is to come to know your body; sensible eating, portion size, drinking your 8 glasses of water daily and exercise. Yes exercise!!! I have come to recognize my hunger button. I recongnize when I'm hungry and when I'm grazing. Personally I have found just eating better didn’t work to lose the weight, I had to exercise. My husband would be amazed at my weigh ins when I wouldn’t lose, he would say "but you eat so much better". True, but I knew I didn’t work out like I need to. For the first time in my life I have come to truely love myself! I have always loved cooking, now I have found a new love for it by trying new foods (going outside of the box).
Research shows and I have also noticed eating better and exercise has helped my symptoms (some) of MS (Multiple Sclerosis).
Weight loss is a Daily journey but if you can get into some sort of support group (Weight Watchers) or have a great supporter at home to talk with and share your struggles with. The items that I strongly recommend are: eat sensibly, drink your water and again do some type of work out routine(whether it be a video or walking around the block). The greatest things about attending the WW meetings is my Leader (Cathi) and the friends there that support and inspire me in and out of the meetings. We have come to check up on oneanother; cheer, laugh and cry with each other. Whether it be about weight loss, gains or personal issues. It has become much more for me, I look forward to my Tuesday night weigh ins. I feel that the people in the meeting are my second family.
Some video's I started off with are: Richard Simmons (this is great especially for heavy people to start off with, personally I could relate with the people in the video), "Walk Away the Pounds" (Leslie Sansone), and Slim in 6 (this one kicked my butt, but has really toned up my body). There are a lot of videos on Collage Video.com at resonable prices. I have also found a new love for running, I haven't ran since I was in Jr High (I hated it then!!!). I workout until my body tells me to slow down or stop; you don’t have to kill or hurt yourself, just get up for 10, 15 or 20 minutes a day, (Currently I am up to 7 miles 3 - 5 times a week). Then do it a little longer the next time if you can. Take a break here and there, and mix up the videos so you don’t get tired of them. Again it is a daily journey, but YOU are the only one that can take control of your own life, and don't you want to be around for your family and friends, and to see your children grow up!! Good luck and I hope I have inspired you to get up and get started/moving. =)
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A few things that I have done to keep focused are:
I have baught clothing in a size smaller than what I was currently wearing (top, skirt, pants) and hung them where I could see them daily. This gave me an incentive to lose the weight to get into it.
I have also posted pictures of me around my house at my heaviest and every time I looked at them that was a reminder of where I didn't want to be.
Find something that will get your focus on you and get you motivated. It may be getting healthier to get off your medication, or to play outside with your kids, a reunion, to get in that little red dress, help yourself and your family get healthier. What ever the case write it down, take a picture of it and put it somewhere that you can see it daily for a reminder.
I know many times we are haunted by people that try to sabotage us with food. Sometimes it is intentional but sometimes it may not be. Try to differenciate between them. For instance a friend that takes you out to dinner and says lets have some dessert when you say no they become upset with you. Tell them that they could but you would appreciate if they would respect your way of eating. If your husband brings you something from the market because he knows you like it but now you have tried to change your eating habits, don't get upset with him he may have been thinking about you and just wanted to get you something that he knows you enjoy. In a nice way try to explain it to him. Trust me they do listen =). Sometimes it may take a while but they just want what is best for you.
I have heard from people that "my husband doesn't want me to lose weight because he thinks I will leave him". Well, I have heard about women that have left thier husbands after losing the weight; to add my personal thoughts about this. If someone has been by your side through thick and thin and you leave or cheat on them "SHAME ON YOU" you don't deserve that man/woman. Does one really think that just because they are thin (in shape now) that someone else will love them better? I don't know these are just my thoughts about the Cheating thing. I DONT LIKE IT!! I beleive if you have a strong relationship and that he/she has loved you heavy or thin then you should try to reasure him/her that the relationship is just as solid as it has been.
I know in my personal case that my marriage has become stronger just because we have always worked as a team with my weight loss. It wasn't just me losing the weight, it was "us" losing the weight. I'm not saying my husband lost weight with me but he helped me in ways that he will never know. In the past 2 years I have gone through so many changes with food that there have/are times that he asks me "what are you eating today"? Most of the time I laugh, because sometimes I don't even know. But with all the changes in my life with my weight "rid" we have both grown together through the process not just me.
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June 9th, 2007 I will be doing a relay for the American Cancer Society. I'm really excited about that since I will be doing this for a great cause(dear friends and family members) and for myself. If there are 5K's or 10K's in your area you should get up and get involved. It is a good way to sponsor something you believe in and get some exercise.
Friends and I did the relay for the American Cancer Society, it was great. I completed 17.6 miles, tired and a little sore, but definately worth it!!!! (pictures on my More Pics page).
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I know a lot of people don't get their fruits and veggies in throughout the day. I have found the Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer and I love it!! I juice in the morning to take my vitamins and it also curves my appetite. It is a great way to get in the fruits and veggies without all the chemicals and since most of us know we don't get enough. Just thought I would share!!
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We were on vacation from Aug 2 - 7, 2007. We went to Illinois for 3 family reunions. It was great, one of the reasons is that there were people that saw me for the first time in my life as thin. I wasn't the heavy one in the family any more. It felt so good to see family that I hadn't seen in 10+ years. I shared my story and gave my website to several cousins. I hope they were inspired and take control of their weight. I know that it will be hard but well worth the journey.
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**Well I'm on my path to a Tummy Tuck. On Nov. 16, 2007 I will have it God willing. I have a link that will give the progress of the before and after surgery and pictures. I ask for prayers while I am under the knife.
YEAH, the Tummy Tuck went well, see my comments on my tummy tuck progress and the pictures. You can also see my before and after pictures on Dr. Esmailian's web site.
Thank you for that honor!!!

Dr. Esmailian
Farbod Esmailian MD Plastic Surgery
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11/30/2007
Sitting here tonight looking at my before pictures 303 lbs. to now 158 lbs (post tummy tuck). I look so SAD in the before pictures. I was very happy with my life and Randy but I know I was sad about myself(my weight). It makes me tear up to know that I had let myself go so far out of control. I never thought that I would allow myself to do that. People think that heavy people are lazy, but in my case very contrary. I was/am very active and did more than the average heavy person. I helped Randy build 6' tall walls with 60 lb bricks at our cabin in Running Springs. Yes, I carried them just as well as Randy and dug dirt right beside him. Raked up the yard, cleaned up, etc., etc., etc. I have become half myself and I know that I will be able to help Randy out more in the years to come. Randy and I were talking tonight and he was saying how amazing I must feel with all that extra weight off of me, well I do and I honestly dont know how to explain it. To look down and see my feet and not my stomach, well is huge!! There are times I think it is all a dream. A long hard one, but one at that. Working out every day and watching my food intake daily seemed to pay off. It is the best feeling in the world to have your husband and parents proud of you. I know I did it for myself, but I did do it for them as well because I wanted to be around for them and I knew if I didnt succeed at this I probably wouldnt be here today. Trust me I know that everyone has those days that you just want to give up (I had many!!) on the exercise and watching your food, but looking at my pictures (pretty much daily) Im proud of myself (for the first time) for sticking with this and not giving up on myself nor my family and friends!!
I pray for the people that come to my site and read my story to stick with it and remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!. I pray that God will be with you through your journey as He has been with me. =)
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Wow, I just did my measurements and I have lost so many inches. My waist is 29", I have never had a waist that small. I just had to share my excitement.. =)
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January 11, 2008
I have heard a lot about Belly Dancing, well I just ordered a tape to check it out and it seems pretty interesting. I'm not sure how much I could do so that I don't hurt myself but if it tones up the tummy and hips I'm all for it. I will let you know in a week or so how things are going. If nothing else this may be fun elsewhere. =)
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February 8, 2008
Well it has been a while since I have posted, I had a little bit of a gain over the past few weeks and it has hit me pretty hard. I basically eat when I'm hungry (Core Plan on WW). But over the past few weeks I have gained 3 lbs. I know you may say it isn't much, but it is killing me to gain when I have worked so hard to take it off. So my plan now is to diligently write everything down that I eat until I hit my goal weight and see how many points (the Point Plan on WW) it all adds up to be. I have found over the past 4 days that I have been consuming more points than the WW plan says I should be. However, I have been working out AM, Noon and PM I still need to watch everything. My leader and I went over it "again", since I am working out so much I need to eat more. Well it does sound crazy, but the reality is that it is true. I journaled and added up my food points and my exercise points, the first week I followed what my leader said, I lost 4.8 lbs. I'm going to follow the "Point" Plan on WW until I get to my Goal then I will go back to the "Core" plan. I want to make this a life style change and I need to recognize how much I am eating expecially when I work out.
Again Good luck on your Weight "Rid"!!!!
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I will be walking for the "Race for the Cure" on March 15, 08(5K), the "MS Walk" on April 6, 08(5K) and the "Cancer Relay" on May 17, 08(miles to be determined). Check out my link on misc. walks to get out and get some execise and support your cause. I would like to say THANK YOU to all that have supported me in my Walk/Runs!!!!
Good Luck!!
11/16/2008 - Well it has been 1 year since my surgery. Wow time sure flies. Well, I wouldn't have changed anything from a year ago. I feel awsome and I believe I look awsome (to myself). I have always been confident, but I do have a more outgoing confidence than previously. I will not kid you though it is still a stuggle with my weight. Just because I lost it and had the tummy tuck doesn't mean that everything with my eating is in the past. It is a daily struggle and I know that it will be but as long as I keep pressing forward and keep my faith I will overcome all obstacles. Do not give up, keep pressing forward and you will reach your goal, no matter what that goal may be.
Keep up the Great Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!